Like Pulling Teeth
by Chrono180
Summary: Chisame hated the insanity of the magic world. That won't let her stop herself from being forced back into it. One shot, set post-series.


Like pulling teeth

They say that on the internet, nobody would know if you're a dog. One could also say that on the internet, nobody would know if you're a half-demon youkai, a highly advanced gynoid developed by a mad scientist, an immortal vampire who people tell stories about to scare children in their bed, or a time travelling Martian from the future.

Or, in the case of one Chisame "Chiu-chan" Hasegawa, nobody would know that you're a antisocial hikikomori with a massive snark streak and a magical staff that can let you transport yourself into the internet.

The details of who she was, how she acted, she hid behind a mask, a facade of a charming, flirty online idol persona. An internet darling she named "Chiu" that everyone would love, that she could interact with the world with. If she felt lonely or sad, it didn't matter, Chiu had tons of friends. If her attitude was chided as "inappropriate" or "belligerent" then so what? Chiu was loved by everyone! Even if her idol sometimes seemed more real than she was, she knew it might be for the best. The better one fit into society, the more others would like them, right? It's what her parents taught her, back before she came to Mahora.

There were disadvantages, of course. Despite her passion for cosplay, it rendered going to conventions impractical, both because of the dramatic difference that would be noticed if one encountered if one discovered her real life personality versus her virtual persona and because of the image problems that would result if her fanbase were to discover that she had been photoshopping her photographs for the last two years. After all, idols were supposed to be super skinny and extremely attractive, having a 27.4 BMI was completely unacceptable!

A more notable disadvantage, though, and one she tried her best to ignore, was the feeling of emptiness that seemed to churn through her. Most often in the dead of night, when she was browsing on the internet through whatever random meme was being spread around her favored websites at this point. The feeling that Chiu was, just like so many other things on the internet, a passing fad, destined to be forgotten three months after she wasn't immediately in the visible eye anymore.

When those feelings came up, she'd go and work on sewing more cosplays. Making her outfits made her feel like she was accomplishing something lasting. Something meaningful.

She was proud of being able to make her cosplays. Sewing those things was damn hard.

She wished she had someone to brag too about her design, but it'd break her idol persona to indulge in such boasts, and the only other people she could talk to about such boats were gone. Negi Springfield was off to terraform Mars, and Chachamaru was to act as his persona assistant in the project. And her classmates had gone their separate ways, either to help with the development, or otherwise. She didn't keep track of them all after their graduation, At the time, she had said good riddance. Less weirdness in her life, no more mechas with strip beams or classmates being turned to stone, or ermines rusting through her underwear drawer.

Exactly what she had asked for. And all it had cost was the few people who cared about her for _her_, rather than Chiu.

Sometimes she felt the trade off wasn't worth it. But after months of complaining about how much she hated everything, how much she wanted normality, she couldn't just go back and say she changed her mind and wanted to give things another chance, could she? She'd be a joke.

So she just stayed in her room, and lost herself in her virtual world, to try Mahora, and the past behind her.

* * *

><p>It was three months after her graduation when she received a call. She had been tempted not to answer, but after a half dozen rings, she figured if she didn't, they'd try again later on, so answering sooner would make it simpler.<p>

"Chachamaru." She said simply, having noted the number on the caller ID.

"Chisame." The gynoid replied. There was a slightly awkward pause, as if the gynoid was unsure what to say, before asking. "Do you have a moment?"

"I'd say you've already got one." Chisame replied, "But you can have two, if you ask nicely. Whats this about? You need me to hack into someone's databases? Upload a virus onto someone's servers? Sew you a maid outfit?" She chuckled slightly, a slightly evil grin on her lips.

"Actually I was going to ask if you'd like to meet up." Chachmaaru responded, "Though if you're volunteering to make me an outfit, I won't refuse the offer."

"I was kidding on that part." Chisame quickly corrected.

"I wasn't." Chachamaru replied. "Your outfits are of quite high quality in their design, as well as being tailored to replicate the characters portrayed with substantial accuracy. A dress designed from you would make a wonderful addition to my wardrobe. Perhaps Negi would also appreciate something designed for his specifications."

For a moment, Chisame's mind flashed to Negi Springfield dressed in a meido outfit and her face began to burn at the thought of the image. _No, no, that's just perverted! I'm not going there!_

_Though it would pay him back for all the times he destroyed my clothes with those sneezes of his…_

"Anyway," she stated, hurriedly trying to get to other topics, "If you want me to make an outfit, I suppose I could try, but I'd need payment for materials and labor, and between one to three months to design, depending on what character it is. And I'll need to get your measurements to make it fit right. And keep in mind this is the first time I'd have made a cosplay for someone else, so I'd be treating new ground for me."

"That's fine." Chachamaru replied. "If you'd like, I could bring you over to measure me."

"Bring me over? Where are you right now?" Chismae raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"I'm in Negi Springfield's home in Megalomesembria. I'd like to arrange transport so that-"

"Wait wait WAIT." Chisame cut off, her eyes twitching again, "You're saying you want me to pack up, on the spur of the moment, and come visit you back on MARS? You know how much I hate unexpected events! And why are you offering this now, after you haven't talked to me in months?"

"It is just an offer. And I had hoped you would take the initiative to contact me." Chachamaru replied. "I figured you would make the first move in any interactions you wished to partake in, however it has been three months since we last talked, and you have not called me, emailed me, or messaged me through any one of the three social networking sites we share in common. I consider our friendship highly valuable, and wish to continue to maintain it to the best of my ability."

Chisame blinked, picking up a pen and twirling it between her fingers, "And what if I said I didn't need your friendship anymore? What then, huh?"

"I would say that would be a knee-jerk response prompted by your frustration with your current state and not an indicator of your true feelings." Chachamaru responded.

Chisame let out a grumbling noise.

"Chisame, I'd like to ask, how is your life right now?"

"Its fine." Chisame replied, giving a slight huff.

"You know that saying "Its fine" is shorthand for "It's not okay even I say it is", right? Are you saying that because you don't want to talk about it or because you want me to press further and have you vent your problems to me so I can give you emotional support?"

Chisame didn't respond, sitting down at the computer to pull up her idol page. For a moment, she pursed her lips.

"Chisame?"

"I just miss you guys, ok?" Chisame snapped, "Nothing big, you were just my friends! There, I said it. Now stop psychonalysing me."

"I've missed you too, Chisame. You're still my best friend, that hasn't changed." Chachamaru sounded a bit sad as she spoke into the phone. "Negi misses you too. So do the others. I'd come visit you I didn't have the mana requirements I do." There was a brief pause before she added, "It would make us really happy if you came to join us."

"You live on Mars though." Chisame stated flatly, "A world full of mages. And dragons. And clothes eating tentacle monsters. That nearly blew up. Twice, if I remember Rakan's history lesson right. You realize why I wouldn't exactly be keen on revisiting the place."

"But Chisame." Chachamaru stated. "Isn't being in the mist of chaos and insanity and complaining about how awful it is and how much you hate it what you enjoy?"

Chisame's eye began to twitch even harder at that bit, "STOP ASKING ME THE HARD QUESTIONS YOU STUPID ROBOT! EVEN IF IT WAS, NOBODY ELSE WOULD ENJOY IT!"

"Oh, I don't know about that." Chachamaru sounded almost teasing at this point, "Your character is ranked at the fifth most popular on the Ala Alba TV show."

There was a dead silence at that point as Chisame tried to process the information. "There's a… TV show about us? About ME? You've got to be kidding me."

"Oh yes. Haruna arranged for its production. Said it would make for good propaganda material. Now she's arranging for a series of figures styled in various costumes as a marketing may wish to secure the rights to your image before they go into production if you want to prevent anything perverted from being produced..."

"I DAMN WELL BETTER! I HAVE AN IMAGE TO MAINTAIN!" Chisame paused before adding "Do I have to go over there to do it?

"Well, yes. The Megalomesembrian legal department doesn't have interplanetary communication satellites."

"Figures." Chisame huffed with annoyance. "I'm going to get back at Paru for this, you know."

"Of course," Chachamaru replied, "Though you may want to budget some extra time for that if so. Will you also make me an outfit to wear?"

"I suppose if I'm going to be there already…" Chisame sighed.

"And help my mother break into some secure databanks she needs help hacking into?"

"Eh, I guess. Long as I don't get in any trouble."

"Go on a treasure hunt with Nodoka?"

"Maybe."

"Go on a holiday date with Negi?"

"Yeah, sure… what, what?"

A bit of giggling could be heard from Chachamaru.

Chisame gave an annoyed frown. "You're just looking for ways to get me to extend my stay in Mundus magicus, aren't you? Don't push your luck."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Chachamaru stifled her giggling before stating, "I can arrange to have Ayaka bring her jet around tomorrow, if that's good for you."

"Wha… TOMORROW? DAMNIT CHACHAMARU!"

"I could do it later, but the longer we wait, the lewder the figures Haruna will make, and I think we both know you tend to act indecisive about big events like this and then make a sudden but firm decision at the last moment anyway." Chachamaru chuckled again.

Chisame's eyes twitched. "Oh, I am going to get even on you too! I am going to sew you the SKIMPIEST COSPLAY IMAGINABLE AND TAKE YOU TO A CONVENTION IN IT!"

"I look forward to seeing it." Chachamaru replied pleasantly. "There will be one in the capital in just over a month, so I expect we will have a great deal of fun. I'll have Ayaka pick you up at noon tomorrow. See you shortly."

"Wait, there's cosplay in-",Chisame began, only for Chachamaru to hang up. A bit of sweat appeared on her forehead as she had the distinct feeling she had just been had.

Nervously, she chuckled to herself, running her fingers through her hair. Pulling out her artifact, she activated the function of Idolum Virtuale. For a moment, she paused in thought, before typing out a message to her followers telling them she was going on a short vacation and to know that Chiu-chan loved them all.

Inwardly, she cursed how foolish she had been to pick up the phone, and cursed her classmates for their strange ways. There was a small but distinct part that she was desperately trying to pretend didn't exist, that was looking forward to the trip.

After all, it'd give her an excuse to be dragged back into the weirdness, kicking and screaming.

And she wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
